Stephen.

I remember the time when I used to be in love with him. Ah, the good old days. Looking back now it’s funny to think how we got to this point. His laugh, his voice, and the way he walks, the way he smells, all of it. It used to be so appealing to me. I wanted nothing more than to have him in my life for eternity.
But things change. People change. And sometimes, there’s just no going back.


We first met during his second year of college, my first year. I immediately was drawn in by his sea-foam green eyes that make anyone feel like they are swimming in the beautiful emerald waters of the Bahamas. He was around 6’2, and was the right amount of muscle and lankiness. He body seemed to move with elegance and perfect rhythm. I could almost count beats as his hands, feet, and body moved in time with my counting. His hands were calloused, and rough looking. He was wearing a white button-down tucked into his slacks with a gray cardigan. I could have sworn that I even saw suspenders underneath his sweater. He clothes were unusual, and unlike what people around here normally would wear, but he made his odd combination look so effortless and wonderful. As he talked, I could catch this smile right in the corner of his mouth, a crooked smile, just barely emerging from his lips. Then one of his friends made him laugh. His face lit up, and this laugh that surfaced made it difficult for me not to smile myself. He had straight brown hair that feel right across his eyes and I watched as numerous times he would shake his head and in a swift motion, move his hair away from his eyes. After the third time of him doing this, his powerful green eyes caught my gaze. I couldn’t look away from him. His deep eyes seemed to be drawing me in like a vacuum. And from then on, I was hooked.

We hung out for the first time with our mutual friend. She was extremely loquacious and we could never get a word in edgeways. But I can honestly say that I can’t remember a single word that came out of her mouth. I was just staring at him.

We seemed to be having an entire conversation without having to say anything.

Afterwards, our friend finally got the hint and left us alone. He started talking to me about The Shins. He said that when he looked at me, he instantly started hearing The Shins in his head. We talked about Garden State and The Emperor’s New Groove and that one book called The Rainbow Fish that everyone read when we were younger. He was weird and interesting and complicated. I had never met anyone like him before.

We walked to class together every day from then on out. And he would walk with such confidence I never knew existed. Just walking through campus, he could say hey to at least ten people he knew. And if he didn’t know them, he would say hey to them anyways. People’s faces would just light up. He was that effect on people. He had that effect on me.

He was the funniest person I had ever met. I could be in the worst mood in the world, and he knew exactly what to say to make me smile. He acquired the ability to read me like a book, which made it all too easy.

Every Tuesday night, we would go get waffles at the local breakfast restaurant. His idea. He would say every week, “This is the best taste in the world.” For some reason, he loved them. And every week he came. And every week he would say the same thing. He liked them so much that I continued to go get those stupid waffles every week, despite the fact that I thought they tasted like cardboard that had been heated up.

I had been hearing the humors. I knew what people had been saying about him. For a year, everything had seemed like a dream and I chose to ignore it. He was my everything and I felt like things were perfect. But there was the problem. It was all too perfect. Too perfect for me to realize that there was anything going on.


It was a Tuesday night in November when I found out he was cheating on me. I told him that I wasn’t going to be able to make out ritual routine of getting waffles, and he said he was going to go anyways. “I’ll be thinking of you the whole time,” he said. “It just won’t be the same without you.”

As I sat at home, working on my loads of homework I had to get finished, I realized that I had never missed a waffle dinner and I wasn’t going to start this time because of homework. I jumped into my car and raced over to the Waffle Shop. As I pulled into the parking lot, I felt my stomach drop. I had been telling myself for a year that this couldn’t be true. That this wasn’t true. He was the one I shared everything with. The one who knew me better than anyone. He couldn’t possibly be doing this. I couldn’t believe it.

I blinked my eyes a few times. It wouldn’t go away. I blinked again, harder this time. This image of him kissing her wouldn’t leave. After a year, she finally learned to close her mouth and be quiet, and she decided to shut her mouth on my boyfriend. Had she set us up, only to tear us apart? Nothing was making any sense.

That was not the most confusing part, though. He turned around and saw me staring right at them. He could see the tears running down my cheek. He could see the shock and pain on my face. I know he could. But he looked at me in my eyes. Those beautiful green eyes looked straight at me. Then they turned away, without saying a word.