A Grief Observed Interpretation

Is there a way to properly summarize C.S. Lewis’ A Grief Observed? In this class we have talked about summary, meaning, and theme. Using what we have discussed, I almost do not want to classify this story in just a few sentences. I feel as though the whole essence of the story will be misinterpreted, or not fully explained. This story is loosely explained as “the passionate result of a brave man turning to face his agony and examine it in order that he might further understand what is required of us living this life in which we have to expect the pain and sorrow of the loss of those whom we love” (pg. XIX). This is generally what it is about, but it cannot fully express the emotion throughout this book.
This story is unlike any other. Even in the introduction we are told that this “is not an ordinary book.” It is not generally about grief and how one should handle it. This is not a book where after reading it one could think, “Okay, now I am equipped with how to handle grief. Let me share it with my friends as an academic tool to process suffering and pain.” Rather, this is one man’s twisted process of his own personal grief. It is a roller coaster of emotions such that what is said next is unexpected. This roller coaster is always intriguing, always exciting. It makes you question whether or not you should have got on it in the first place, and even while you are on it, you have a feeling of wanting to get off. But there is something that holds you in and makes you keep getting on over and over again. It is real.
In saying this story is about grief does not fully grasp the essence of love portrayed. Normally when thinking of love and grief, they do not tie together. But Lewis shows how intricately the two are woven together. What a blessing and gift from God for us to have love. But is it not a curse as well? In loving someone, we ultimately have to lose them. So is it really a gift after all? In the introduction, Lewis’ step-son states, “…all human relationships end in pain—it is the price that our imperfection has allowed Satan to exact from us the privilege of love.” So is this love that we, as humans, are allowed to experience taken away from us in the end by Satan, or by God?
Douglas Gresham states in the introduction, “The greater the love, the greater the grief.” Is all the happiness we may experience during love worth the ultimate grief in the end? Or the grief along the way? We long for a deep, strong love, but we are soon to forget about the grief that shall come in the end.
In writing how he is feeling, Lewis tries to explain how this grief feels. He says that grief is like fear; grief is lazy and lonely, and full of self-pity. He compares going to certain places that remind him of her “like sending a pilot up again as soon as possible after he’s had a crash” (11). Lewis states that his love’s “absence is like the sky, spread over everything” (11). He uses terms “empty house”, “like a clown”, “a whimpering child”, “like snow-flakes”, “a puppet of which you hold the strings”, and “grip[ping] the arms of the dentist’s chair” to somehow put down in words what he is feeling.


He uses these similes and metaphors, but they almost appear not to fit. It is almost as if words cannot express what he is actually feeling. There is no way even after reading this to understand what Lewis felt, unless we have personally been through this experience ourselves. Even then, too, it could differ. Lewis says, “I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid” (3). It is like he wants there to be other words to explain this fearful-esque pain, but this is the only way he can describe it. It is almost as if someone had said, “I am not hungry, but I have the sensation of being hungry.” See where this is confusing? He takes an entire book just to explain his emotions and write down his thoughts and feelings. How can this story possibly be summarized if Lewis himself cannot even find the right words?
Lewis questions God and his goodness in a way that is almost bittersweet. He describes it in saying, “The conclusion I dread is not ‘So there’s not God after all,’ but ‘So this is what God is really like. Deceive yourself no longer’” (7). It is hard to think about because Lewis believes in God. He does not doubt the existence of God in this book. He appears to doubt God’s intentions. The bitter sweetness is that Lewis knows that everything God does is for the best, but why must He bring pain and grief into it? With all the goodness, there is some pain. Lewis tells of his difficulty grasping this concept.
But is it a concept that can even be grasped? Is there even a specific conclusion that we can come to God’s goodness and grief?
Lewis describes creating an image of his wife in his mind that he fears is different that how she actually was. He uses the image of a puppet to say how our own minds can twist and shape what we want our love to look like, and do (21). He knows this is not fair to his wife for he states, “Ten minutes—ten seconds—of the real H. would correct all this” (20).
Is this what could happen if we spent just ten seconds with God? Do we sometimes shape God into what we want Him to be? Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, we use God as our own puppet? We might be surprised at how God really is after we have spent those few seconds with Him.

Lives being defined by their disability? Do they still have the "Spirit of God"?

Dear Professor Corrigan,
You stated with our homework that this reading would probably start off slow, and might be hard to read. But I have to disagree. This "paper" instantly grabbed my attention. I have actually thought about this "argument", I guess you could call it, and I never came to a conclusion about how I felt.
It means a lot different when the outlook is coming from someone who has a child who has a disability. It's a lot more intense, I guess? It's not psychological, or all scientific, there is actually real-life situations and real emotions thrown into the equation. It's a weird mix of emotion that I feel during this paper. There is conviction, sadness, but a strange bit of happiness at the same time.
There were so many different questions that arose while I read this paper. My print-out of this is totally torn up with red pen. I took notes everywhere! There were so many different thoughts that I was thinking of, and things to ponder in my mind while I read this. It was so intriguing to me because I had varied opinions and thoughts in my mind and it really got me thinking.
What is normal, anyways? What makes someone abnormal?
Yes, I guess compared to us, disabled people are considered "abnormal" while we are considered "normal". But then again, compared to other people, I could be considered abnormal while others are normal. Where is this line drawn? Is there even a line that needs to be drawn?
Are the disabled not touched by the Spirit of God? Did God just pass over them, or something? Look over them and forget about them? I feel like God created them just the way for a reason. There is no "defect", or anything wrong with how God created them. I know that God had a plan for their life, and He created them like that. (See page 3, first paragraph on the left hand side)
What do you guys think?
Also, it made me rethink how the Church, and people in general treat people who are disabled. If we, as the Church, tell disabled people that we accept them for who they are, and that we are not judging them but in doing so, we are actually calling out their disabilities. It is a bit of a sticky situation, isn't it?

I could discuss this until the sun rose and I love the fact that I think so much after reading this.
Bottom line: Thanks Professor, for creating a stimulating class that constantly gets me thinking.

Continuing to learn more and more from this class,
Anna Marie Smith

One of my favorite quotes:
"If no one can help how he/she is "embodied" in creation, including the disabled, then it seems very unjust to single out the disabled for their inability to adjust their embodiment of their alleged insufficiency in believing in divine healing."

Yeah, I'll visit Art Museum more often...as long as it's free.

"I went to the Polk Museum of Art for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes."
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This trip was a lot better than I thought it would be. I was excited about this little outgoing, don't get me wrong. But, I did not think it was going to be as fun as it thought it was. Once we (Louis, Jenn, our friend Ashley, and I) got there, I got pretty excited because we walked in and I could see the Japanese Exhibit. My parents are from Japan, so I had seen most of the things in the exhibit before. I actually grew up with most of that Japanese looking stuff. I actually couldn't understand why there were so many of the same looking photographs.
Yes, it's art, I know.
But come on. That was a bit much. There were like 35 different paintings of basically the same thing.
Once we got to the part of the museum where there was artwork from high schoolers, I think I fell in love. They were so creative! There was one that was even created on cardboard! I was amazed at the creativity that was floating around in the room. I could never imagine doing that sort of stuff myself...which kind of made me sad. But, it was great.
There were a few though, where I thought
"Really? This is in here? This really didn't take that much work."
For example, there was one where it looked like the a guy just took a picture of himself, then copied and pasted it all over the photo. Not that great. Sorry to say.
I don't even think I went into the pottery or anything....it just wasn't really my thing.
Right before you walked up the stairs, there was a section on landscapes, I think it was. There were nature-esque pictues and outdoors-y things that I was really drawn to. One in particular was called "Juniper Springs" by Margaret Tolbert.
This is what sprung from that-->

The deeper down, the deeper blue.
Wanting to submerge into the deep blue darkness.
The cold rushing all around me.
The sun slowly fading away as I plung and push myself
Deeper, deeper.
Deeper into the unknown.
Should I open my eyes?
I fear what I might see.
I've never known this feeling,
This pressure in my ears,
my heart pounding like a war drum in my head.
The coldness, the fear is becoming almost comforting now.
Almost to the point where I never want to break the surface again.
I continue to push
Deeper, deeper.
"Where is the end?" I ask myself.
It is never-ending,
This deep blue darkness.
Yet, it is always changing,
For I can feel a new sensation every moment.
A slight nibble on my toe.
A change in temperature.
A flow of water passing, almost right through me.
A give my last kick as I plunge deeper.
Pressure in my ears.
Cold water filling my lungs,
And alas,
there's peace.


Continuing to learn and learn more from this class,
Anna Marie

I think Luci Shaw, Mary Oliver, and I should go out for tea.

I really really really liked this "story" by Luci Shaw. I have no idea how she could possibly write two pages on something as simple as beauty and make it sound so wonderful. I don't think I could have gone into this much detail about beauty and make it sound sweet and engaging like Luci Shaw. She actually has my attention the entire time. She has stated such easy and simple statements about beauty and creativity but it sounds like a revelation!
I especially like that quote at the beginning that says, "Beauty is perhaps one of the few things that constantly calls us back to God." Sometimes we are so busy throughout our day that we neglect the beauty in the world.
We forget to notice the things in the world that God has created with such creativity and passion. He has given us a beautiful school and great opportunities to meet people and learn from people at this school. I mean, seriously...think about the weather today. GOD GAVE THAT TO US. He created that just for us today. It was beautiful!
And for me, every time I see something beautiful, I honestly think of the Lord, just like Luci Shaw said.
Messages of beauty that awakens our sensations and touches each one of our senses make an imprint on our lives and truly last. Luci Shaw said, "They print themselves like pictures on our imaginations and do their transforming work in us, reminding us, if we are aware, of the One behind the messages." THIS IS AWESOME.
We pass by beauty throughout the day, and sometimes forget to notice. But "IF WE ARE AWARE", we can be reminded of God's greatness! It's so simple! It makes so much sense, and it's so easy to comprehend when you think about it, but I don't see how she made it sound so artistic at the same time.
That probably didn't make any sense hahaa if you did understand, please comment and make that sound more simple than how I put it.
Bottom line: I think Luci Shaw, Mary Oliver and I should all go out to tea and talk.

Learning more and more from this class,
Anna Marie

DARKNESS, QUESTIONS, POETRY AND SPIRITUAL HOPE

Reading this was pretty interesting, actually. I especially liked the topic of darkness. The questions that arose really made me think about my faith. For example, Professor Corrigan asks us, "Where is God in the darkness?" We have to look for something beyond the darkness. We have to look for something that we can not see. Our faith comes into play and is truly tested when we can not see our own hand in front of us, and we have to trust that God knows what He is doing. And not only that, we have to trust that He even exists! That He really is there even though we can't see him...but I guess that comes in to play in general, this is not meaning just darkness.
Professor Corrigan had a quote in this that particularly struck my attention. It was a quote from Laurence Freeman that read, "“before trying to get the answer right . . . Important questions create silence." This reminded me of Lectio Divina. This practice has been coming up a lot in my life recently, actually. We practiced it at Renew Chapel, and in this class before. So it is quite funny that something similar is stated again here. Professor Corrigan says that Freeman in reminding us not to respond so eagerly and with the first thing that comes to our mind. Take some time ad reflect, repeat the question, and sit in silence with the question.
This "paper", I guess you could call it, helped me to see that darkness isn't necessarily a bad thing. God is still there. Like the Professor reminded us, the Lord says, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." He also stated, "Unless we face the darkness, we have nothing to offer those who are hurting and we have no resources for ourselves when we get our own turn at pain--except cheap religious clichés." When we go through darkness, hope can come from it. We can learn and grow in the Lord, and we can use our circumstances to reach out to others and help them.

Learning more and more from this class,
Anna Marie :)

Lake Bonny :)

I went to Lake Bonny Park for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.
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I went there with Louis and Jennifer Mendez! Despite the fact that it is only 3 minutes away from the school and we passed the giant sign that read, "Lake Bonny Park," we doubted at first that we were in the right place because the only lake we could visually see from the car was that little lake right behind the playground. The one with the dinky chain-link fence around it.
We even stayed in the car until I looked up on my phone whether or not this was the right place or not.
But Louis know the whole time! Yes, he did. He had remembered the picture of the dock that Professor Corrigan had posted, so we were determined to find it! Low and behold, we saw some people walking in the distance and we followed them and found the dock!
There were some other kids out there from our class, which was great. We all got to marvel in God's beauty together.
And His beauty is GREAT. We got to soak up His loveliness in the this lake I had never been to before. And because I had never been to it before, everything seemed new to me. The dock, the grass by the water, the trees, the wind, even the bugs. I could just see them a little differently. Once I got to think about God's wonderful creativity and artistry, I was amazed at the little beauties.
The weather was especially nice. The sun was out, but it wasn't hot. And the wind was blowing, but it wasn't cold. It was perfect weather to just lay on the dock, soak up God's wonder, and write...


Do you see that?
The water moving slowly across the lake
The bird dipping down into the water
The trees blowing in the wind
The fly landing on the flower petal

Do you smell that?
The salty air off the lake
The sweet aroma of the flowers
Rain coming in from the distance
That wood-sy scent that makes one want to build a tent

Do you hear that?
The birds chirping
The wind blowing through the trees
The slight hum of a bee flying nearby
Children screaming playfully from the playground

Do you feel that?
The wind gently blowing across your cheek
Those little flies that land ever-so-lightly on your arms
The sun beating down on you
God's presence overcoming your body and taking you to a place beyond this world...


Continuing more and more from this unique class,
Anna Marie :)

I would like to be Mary Oliver's friend, I think.

I have always been a fan of poetry. Nature poetry is splendid.
I can just sit in nature, and read the poems, and soak up God's wonderful-ness! :)
Mary Oliver's poems are GREAT. I don't even know how to explain in words how much I like them.
Let's start with "Walking Home from Oak Head"....
This poem is so simplistically wonderful. I am writing it down everywhere...in my journal, in a letter for my sister, everywhere. I even just read it again and got really excited because I like it so much! First of all, I really like the way she formats the poem.
The
slanted
words
make
it fun
to read!
^^^^Those are supposed to be slanted hahaa
Also, each stanza gives you something to think about..something to envision.
snow-laded sky
unhurried wind
snow falling..casually, then irrepressibly
red-cheeked
covered with stars
Jennifer put it a good way, I think. She said, "It's like the glitter of poems!" I know that might sound kind of strange, but think about it. Glitter is very small, very simple. But it's sparkly and beautiful! It doesn't need to be big and flashy to catch your attention, and you could probably be entertained with it for a bit.
Please tell me that you can relate this weird metaphor to Mary Oliver's poem? Thank you.
Next, I really liked "Six Recognitions of the Lord." Her first three lines are so great. I love it. She says, "I know a lot of fancy words. I tear them from my heart and my tongue. Then I pray." Could this be anymore of a truth? (I don't even know if that last statement made sense hahaa)
But really..how many times have we sat down to pray, or however you do it and tried to be all fancy with the Lord? HE DOESN'T CARE. We don't need to try and be fancy, or proper when we talk to Him, guys. He knows us better than anyone. Would you talk to your best friend using fancy words? Watching your language and using big words? I don't think so.

Well, these two were my favorite. Let me know what you liked about these two too! :)
LOVING and learning so much from this class,
Anna Marie :)